Find me Faithful
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
I've been in prayer for so many things lately, but much surrounding adoption and caring for orphans. We are in the midst of changes in our ministry and during these times of change, things don't feel familiar. I want to see into the future to be ensured of the decisions being made. How we long for comfort- increase our faith Lord!
The LORD lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous. Psalm 146:8
As I pray to him, Lord I am seeking your face! I want to understand. I want more. I want to be completely free - dependent on you for ALL things. Why is it, I fail oftentimes? Why do I not learn Father? In all of your goodness, which I have known, why do I find myself coming back to this place, asking for the same things wanting constant assurance?
I saw a picture of myself putting on sunglasses. I heard in my heart, There was a time you put on sunglasses because the light was blinding. The use of those glasses helped you to see clearly and to discern in that environment. But then I sent you into a room. It was just a regular room with the light on and you still had on your sunglasses.
But in this room as I wear these glasses I am squinting as I look around. It takes me a while to realize that in this condition, I must remove my glasses to see. It's not that God changed His plan but that in the course of walking out his purpose in my life, I will need to be incredibly sensitive to the moment I am in- to what God is saying now and not taking into one circumstance the exact approach I came from another.
I began to hear the message in my spirit. What I have told you to do in one circumstance may not be what I am telling you to do in another. My plan for you does not change, but your need to change for my plan will be constant. This is the walk of faith. This is what it means to walk in Spirit. This is what it means to grow. Removing old and replacing with new. Pruning.
Lastnight our family went bowling for Valentine's Day. While I love to bowl and dream of making strikes, my bowling history is less than stellar. My high score going into lastnight was 44. My ball loves the gutter. While I aim for the center it seems that as my arm comes forward to release at the last second it always crosses over. So last night started off the same as all the other times. About the 6th frame of the game I thought- you know I've always bowled left because I am left handed. I wonder what would happen if I bowled right. So when my next turn came I found myself standing and staring down that lane again. My right hand felt weird inside that ball. I knew too that my right hand and arm is weaker than my well used left. While I wasn't fully confident of the outcome, I knew what my left arm had done all these years. As I released the ball something shocking happened. It went straight down the middle and STRIKE! The rest of the game, I threw a spare and 7's and 8's.
As I went to sleep lastnight I was reminded of the sunglasses again and realized God was using my bowling experience to illustrate what he was trying to tell me during my prayer time with the glasses. Just because it makes sense to use my left hand, just because it feels more comfortable and is what I have always done before, does not mean it was what was needed in that scenario. There are things he is calling me into right now that doesn't feel comfortable and I find myself wanting to instinctively retreat back into those places that I feel are "my natural giftings." But I am reminded that the Lord said to eagerly desire all spiritual gifts. (1Cor 12:31 and 1Cor 14:1) It might not be that I walk in them all now, but might it be that I have not pursued all that he wants to give me? (Ask and it will be given!) Have I been willing to listen to Him in ALL things, or only those things that make most sense (in my comfort) to me?
This is TRUTH
No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has perceived what God has prepared for those who love him- but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words.
Find me faithful! This is my heart's cry.